16 Ways You Know You’re Really Viennese

It doesn’t take being born here to belong. The most convincing Viennese are from all over Austria and the world and have adopted the ways of the city. Vienna lures you into its grasp and before you know it you’ve said “heast” or “oida”, at least under your breath. Here are 16 tell-tale signs you’ve made the cut.

  1. You love the Prater, but you wouldn’t be caught dead on the Riesenrad. Except, of course, when your parents are visiting.
  2. You know several Augustin vendors, like the guy with the rainbow mohawk on Mariahilfer Straße or the guy who sings at Schottentor – you’ve bought a copy out or solidarity but are not sure you’ve ever read it.
  3. You consider Viennese classics like Apfelstrüdel, Sachertorte, and Wienerschnitzel clichés, but are secretly proud they hail from your town.
  4. You are friends with a couple of (former) aristocrats. They never mention it; neither do you.
  5. You direct cabs to take the Zweier Linie, even though there hasn’t been a tram there since the 1960s.
  6. You’ve pretended to be an Icelandic tourist just to make the Mozart guys earn their uniforms.
  7. You complain about inconsiderate cyclists, pedestrians, drivers, motorbike riders – whichever you don’t happen to be at the moment.
  8. You’ve walked out of a café or restaurant after being ignored for 20 minutes. Their loss.
  9. You don’t understand the concept of “starving artist;” the artists you know are total foodies.
  10. You love the word “ur”, cause it goes with absolutely everything.
  11. You have shouted out the lyrics to “I am from Austria” at least once. Maybe you were totally drunk, but you still meant it.
  12. You never go to the Rathaus Christkindlmarkt, which you find hopelessly tacky! Unlike your favorite, which by now all your friends are sick of hearing about. No apologies: Punsch and Glühwein are essential winter survival tools!
  13. You’ve waited nearly two hours for standing-room at the opera… and then slipped out in the intermission. But at least it was the 2nd intermission!
  14. You’ve suffered through a Supermarket at the train station on Sunday, cursing under your breath that you didn’t plan ahead.
  15. You find it liberating that the stores are shut on evenings and Sundays. Errands will have to wait.
  16. You know there is nothing more delicious than a Käsekrainer at Bitzinger on Albertinaplatz at 2:00 in the morning.
Maggie Childs
Margaret (Maggie) Childs is the CEO and Publisher of METROPOLE. Originally from New York, Vienna has been her home since high school. She is known for non-stop enthusiasm, talking too fast, inhaling coffee and being a board member of AustrianStartups, where she helps entrepreneurs internationalize. Follow her on Instagram @maggie_childs and twitter @mtmchilds.

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