Austria Second

When Trump gave his nationalistic speech on Inauguration Day, the Dutch, ever the pragmatists, thought, “Hey- if you have got to be first, can we be second?” and late night TV host Arjen Lubach released this gem seen 50 million times over.

It didn’t take long for Germany, Denmark, all of the EU and beyond to jump on board in a friendly show of “sibling” rivalry.

Germany didn’t wait long to rebut Holland’s claim that German is a “fake language”, and host Jan Böhmermann asked– “Who, if not us [Germany] has deserved a third chance?”

“Holland! Number two? Not going to happen” said Danish host Anders Breinholt. The video proclaimed, “We, the Danish people, not the pastry, which is delicious, by the way, you should try it, it’s tremendous,” putting in their bid for second place.

Austria Second

Last night, Austria released their petition for second place, with mixed responses. Some of our readers feel this jump on the bandwagon fell flat, but is still worth a watch despite historical inaccuracies. “We invented the Muslim ban, in 1529, we kicked the Turks out of our country, in 1683, they came back. Kicked them out again! Total losers. Can’t even ski.” It’s a sad turn of events that Austria’s checkered past “We started World War One! And World War Two!” should be shared with such glee, but here we are. One highlight though, “Our chancellor is Humphrey Bogart. Really sexy. All the women love him.” Let us know in the comments what you thought.

Update: Puls4 has published an alternative bid for Austria Second- not voiced by the Donald himself, but by our very own Arnie, who seems to get the point. “Your generous, huge nation made us great again in 1945, after you know, we all blindly follow (sic) a man who promised to make our nation great again. But didn’t!”
Which version do you prefer?

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Catherine M. Hooker
Catherine M. Hooker was Head of Communications at Metropole from 2015 to 2018. She holds a MA in international relations and also contributes photography to Metropole. Photo: Visual Hub

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