
Noun. 1. The German term for the Indian cobra (naja naja); lit. “snake with spectacles.” The name derives from the fact that the rear of its hood sports a pattern that (vaguely) resembles a pince-nez, a doughty ancestor of modern eyeglasses now rarely seen outside of period dramas and the steampunk community.
However, as the somewhat whimsical name belies the lethal impact of this venomous creature, the more generic term, Kobra, is more commonly used today.
2. An unflattering expression for someone who wears corrective lenses; the German equivalent of “four-eyes.” Now, it stands to reason that designating someone a dangerous snake, a salute usually saved for sports cars, special forces and ’80s action heroes, might be considered excessive, even flattering. But alas! It is merely a not-so-clever pun used to further humiliate those nerdy, bespectacled book worms who already clearly have their doubts about the future of civilization.
Rarely uttered outside of schoolyards and playgrounds, the term has nonetheless left a trail of former and current Brillenschlangen who harbor deep emotional scars from childhood teasing – further fueling the lucrative contact lens industry and leading to long lines outside laser surgery clinics.
The result: The species is now increasingly rare outside of the Schönbrunn zoo.
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